JAMES WILLIAM BOYER JR. (BILL) 1946-2009

you were one rad dude

yesterday when i got home from work, i layed on the couch and starting watching some pbs channel . there was a special on spain and i got all excited about my trip. i called my mom on her home phone and she did not answer. she called me a few minns later from her cell and imformed me that my father has declined and they are not sure he will make it through the nite. she was calling me and my brother so we could say goodbye via cell phone. she sounded in good spirits and we had a nice chat. chalk it up to a state of shock or disbelief. who knows at this point. i mean we have been dealing with this for over 10 years. i say ok. let me talk to him. i will hang up when i'm done...... my mom then accidently hangs up on me. i call back. we have a good laugh. i say ok lets do this. my mom nom then informs me that my father can no longer hear out of one ear and she can not remember which one. so she will let me speak in each ear.

ear number one- dad i love you and i want you to know that

mom chimes in.... ok other ear. i tell her to just hold it up and i will hang up when i'm done.

jeez i hope its the good ear

ear number two- dad i love you and i want you to know that you were the best dad anyone could ever ask for. i'm very happy and safe. and i love you so so much

now i know it doesn't matter if he heard me. he knows i love him and all that shit.

i feel like there is a bubble around me and thought everyone seems sincere. i dont feel sincere.

i dont feel like anything is really happening. well i didn't until i just wiki'd alzheimer's

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alzheimer

and re read all the stages. i remember doing all the research long ago and the breakdown.

i wish to to go back to the old days when things were just getting started. i know i gave him all the love. i know he knows. i know he is going someplace better. i know everything happens for a reason. i know he will always be with me. i know in my heart i would never take back anything i did. i know in my heart i did everything i could.

I JUST DONT WANT NOW TO BE NOW and i dont know how to deal with it.

its fucking hell

yikes!

i work 41 days till i head home for christmas,but whose counting?

another birthday highlight

sweet moni got me these fingerless gloves in red! hot red! they are perfect for seattle weather. not sure if they will cut it when i go home for christmas..... i think they are absolutely adorable!

bday plants

here is the super rad/awesome looking plant i got for my birthday from my dear friend vicky!

it is a Tillandsia!!!!!!!!!! Tillandsias are a attactive and fascinating member of the pineapple family. they are native to Latin America where they are found growing on rocks and trees without soil. i have mine hanging in the window! love it!

also in this photo is a rad comic that it was packaged with. sadly hefner spilled water on it. would have liked to keep it.

birthday dress!

i had been lusting after this phillip lim dress. the ebay gods blessed me and here i'am wearing it on my birthday!

he is my new favorite designer. sigh!

http://www.31philliplim.com/

Pacific Rim Pasta Salad

At my favorite pasta place in the market, they give you a cute recipe with every purchase.

I was intrigued by this recipe but had to make a few changes. I used agave instead of honey, and tofu instead of chicken, and braggs liquid aminos instead of soy.  We ate this warm the first day and cold the next, right out of the bowl with the fridge door open.

Pacific Rim Pasta Salad

1/2 LB pasta

1 large block firm tofu cubed

1/4 cup diced green onions

2 large bell peppers, bite size pieces

1 bunch cilantro, chopped

1/2 cup raw peanuts

Sauce

1/4 cup olive oil (plus a little more for frying)

2 tbs white vinegar

1 tbs agave

3 tbs liquid aminos

1 tbs red chili flakes

1 tbs garlic minced

1 tbs ginger root, peeled and finely minced

1. combine sauce ingredients in a bowl, cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minns

2. cook pasta till al dente

3. fry tofu cubes in some oil till toasty brown on all sides

4. in a small pan, roast peanuts until fragrant, chop coarsely

5. in a large serving bowl add cooked/ or cooled pasta , tofu, green onions, peppers and sauce.

6. garnish with cilantro and peanuts