Friday, February 3, 2012

happy things

The three basic needs for happiness are :Autonomy, Relatedness, Competence

The basic needs of humans are:subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation,leisure, creation, identity and

I keep going over these lists in my head. Working on happiness could be a full time job. Moving on could be a full time job. Getting Divorced and processing the past and years of your life could be a full time job.
I had quite the crash coarse last week. I was hit with the flu, exhausted. Forced to be still at home. What a bunch of shit. Doing the work as my therapist would say. Digging back up those 8 years and facing the terrible pain and acceptance. Over and over and repeat.
The life you want to live could never happen if you had not left.
You did nothing wrong.
You cant change someone or anything.
You deserve happiness.
Love is sometimes not enough.
Love should not feel like that.

I understand so many things now. Like when you have a friend that is in a abusive relationship (not that I was). They have this unbelievable denial. This is not really happening, not between me and him. You want to scream and smack them, what is wrong with you , how can you not see it? I get this all now........
These things cant happen to me. I could never lose what I thought was the love of my life. My family. All of it to a addiction. Or it could lose me to it? An Addiction could never be bigger then us? Addiction is real and its bigger then anything else.
Addiction is bigger then you, bigger then your love. You can never have the life you want with someone and that. repeat over and over.

It gets easier. It will get easier. You wont always feel this way. You will be happy again

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