Wednesday, October 5, 2011


Was woken at 1pm by a phone call from Rose . Inviting me to hang . Went back to the pub in Camden and sat in the garden eating and drinking with some of her friends. A bunch of us left getting beers to go. I went with a big fat bottle of champange. We made our way to a park to drink. YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE PARKSSSSSSSSSSS. It was gorgeous with a great view of London lit up. I practiced cartwheels which was not something I was in any condition to do. At some point I decided I needed to leave and paid a bum 2 to find me a cab. He walked me to a little stand and told the guys to give me a good rate and yelled at the driver as we drove away. The driver was turkish ,and told me I was blessed and kind hearted. Told me to smile because it is the best. Which is crazy because people have been saying that to me randomly since I have been here. Josh used to say to me when I smile it is the best. Not in a long time though. I went back to the hotel and passed out in my dress waking up at 7 am buzzing. I went downstairs to eat themost expensive breakfast of my life. Eggs florentine and a veggie sausage. So So yummy. Went back, freshened up and then made it up to the High Street Kensington. Got a fantastic rain jacket and a dress covered in swans. that brings us up to date. cant decide whether to go to Soho or back to the hotel to pack because I leave tom....
On express train to Gatwick airport. It is hot as shit. Really.... well not nervous to go to Amsterdam but I have nothing planned. Just two things in my mind. Anne Frank and Van Gogh... Went out with Rose last night and Lucy. 2 sisters from other misters. God I love them! They are the best! So I never explained, the back of the Abby Tavern is a garden and all these people live in tiny flats above and share a bathroom ( I think). We stayed out laaaaaaaaaate.
The jet lag is getting to me , I can not wait to sleep on the plane. How funny is that. Anyways I took a cab last night to meet up with the girls. Kinda silly but the cab driver went through all the tourist spots, Parliment, Westminster Abby, the Theatre district, the National Gallary. First I have seen anything like that on this trip. I have just been partying and being social. Guess that is more important. Maybe my heart and body need to just rest. It was hot and sunny this whole time and now it is cold and mucky. Had a huge breakfast at a cafe. The owner was a really sweet old man. He told me he had to go home and get his passport so he could come with me. A big fat Spanish Omlette and chips. YUMMMM. I want some now.
The view from this train reminds me of Before Sunrise. I think I need to watch that movie again. Our friends back in Seattle got married the other day. I wonder if B went. Hope he is ok. I know our love was something real. It just might not have been the right.
God This Trip.... It feels so euphoric at times, then terrible saddness. I know I left, but I could not take it. I need to be held when I need to be held and I need to be let go when I need to be let go. I need to be heard when I say this is what I need. It really feels like something died.
If my Mom was on this train she would say "Oh! these look like the houses on Cornation Street!" At the train station, they had these cookies for sale, I could not find them though. Cant think of the last cookie I had......

----------Reading this now I must of been exausted and jet lagged and hung over

cant spell check because for some reason it is in dutch...... now you will see how bad I really spell!

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