Yesterday began many changes....
I had the coolest movers ever. Avi from Tel Aviv... He had this whole paternal warmness and kindness that used to make me cry. I wonder if he would adopt me. He gave me a huge discount and got a parking ticket and would not tell me how much it was. He quoted me for 2 movers but brought 4 and charged me the same. I bought them all water and tipped $100. I think kindness should always be returned with kindness. Sometimes sweet people keep you going. He told me he was proud of me and could not believe how much I have gone through in my life, and that hardships help you live better. I seriously felt like my Dad was talking through this man, now that I think about it. Jesus!!!!!!! getting misty. Have to blare Duran Duran so I don't lose my shit in the coffee shop.
So weird... or not weird. I have been having crazy happy life is beautiful moments. Am I a nutter?
You know what else is beautiful? My friend Mel!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So So the move move
first here is a photo of Hefner in my closet. You know that his internal dialogue voice is very similar to Tim Gunns voice? Its true
Almost all unpacked. Almost. Drawers lined, clothes hung. Totally becoming a home. Ula is my new macho man, she literally put my bed together for me. All I had to do is serenade her with Careless Whispers and fill her up with red wine. Which is always a pleasure. She snapped this terrible photo of me in my closet. At least you get to see some part of it.
Ta fucking Da
All this joy and bittersweet happiness aside. I have been having some weird encounters with people. Sure things are hard on them or they are weirded out by my situation. Somehow have become a toilet for some serious verbal diarrhea. Have had numerous people vent and complain and unload about terrible breakups on me. Not sure if it is a attempt to console or what. Either way its totally weird. I would compare it to a conversation like this...
ME- I have Cancer
THEM- oh no!
THEM- I had a aunt once that had Cancer and it was really really hard on me
ME- oh man, that's to bad.
THEM- yeah, like super hard.... still not over it. it was so awful for me!!!!!
ME- I'm really sorry
THEM- yeah so if you need anything let me know
ME (in my head)- yeah fucking right, if by need anything you mean listen to you fucking complain about your life. i do not participate in emotional pissing contests.
ME (in my head)- sorry you dated a total fucking asshole and cant get over it. sorry my estranged husband is fucking awesome and we are respectful to each other, that must be what is really hard for you
ME (in my head)- Shut the fuck up
Being sad and angry takes some serious energy. I cant understand it. Sounding way to fucking eat pray love. meh meh
But really. You chose your feelings. You do.
I have been pissing cash away like crazy. Buying things for the place etc. Today I work and have no day off in sight. This feels pretty safe and good to me. Guess a lot of people would not say the same. I like working.
At some point I need to buy food. I have been living off slices on the way home from work. Red wine. Or eating pretzels for dinner. Sometimes I get home and take my pants off and eat pretzels on my bed. I kinda feel like the female Al Bundy. Hand in undies.
I have to get a new cell phone/service. When I imagine what hell is like it is one of 3 places
-a cell phone store
- a bed bath and beyond or linens and things
- on a couch next to a dude playing Halo
and now the most under rated Duran Duran song